Saturday, July 25, 2009

how to have the best relationship ever!

i mentioned earlier on that i was engaged. it has come to my attention that i have yet to write anything about my johnny so here goes. you're probably wondering wow it must take a lot for a guy to put up with a family as insane as mine. don't worry you guys! i assure you he is perfectly sane and i did not trap him in the slightest! he knew what he was getting into from the first day i promise... :D

recently however i have found out that john is about just as much of a nutter as i am. we went out to a restaurant the other night and i somehow got chili flakes stuck in my teeth (don't you just hate it when that happens??!) and so me being the girl that i am asked john to ask for one when we went up to pay as they had not had it out on the counter. he goes ok sure. he pays for dinner but sure enough he has to spoil it by saying "can i have a toothpick please? it's for her" (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) i replied "yeah it's to poke his eyes out later on..."

don't you worry i got him back. went to the supermarket the other day and he was like "oh i need anti dandruff shampoo" (i cracked up at this as i am sure you are too!) and we went to go get it. he says "you get it. it doesn't look right if i get it" awww poor johnny was too embarrassed to admit he has a problem... hehehehe
i was like, "it's your problem, i'm not holding it!" but just a little too loudly and everyone at the supermaket turns to john and looks him up and down, trying to identify this "problem" of his. i swear you had to be there. it was hilarious. maybe not as good as what he did to me but i still have some tricks up my sleeve don't you worry!

i know it doesn't seem that way from what i've written but we love each other... we really do... it's important to be able to alugh at each other and make fun of each other in a relationship. what am i talking about?? don't take my advice! i hail from the most dysfunctional family in the world! ah well whatever works. so long as there is love. and we have love johnny and i.
........lots and lots of it ;)


Thursday, July 23, 2009

nailing that polish

ok i know that there are some eating etiquettes in life that we all follow and sometimes not. we sometimes eat with our hands let's not lie now. soup is slurped often and what fork to be used for what is beyond me. however, this is my family so we're not really your usual dose of family fun love. i admit we're not the world's most classiest, most sophisticated family but some lines should really be drawn.

we all went out to a family dinner at this new restaurant that just opened up near our place the other night. after making orders to the vacant looking waitress i expected that we would all you know, do the normal thing and talk amongst ourselves till the food arrived. ah how i always keep forgetting that my family is far far from normal.

what does my mother dearest do? she whips outta her hand bag and produces a nail polish bottle. i kid you not. a bottle of nail polish. and she starts doing her nails. at the restaurant. her nails. with nail varnish!! so wayne was like this is not the time or the place you should put it away. she replies with oh i just don't have time to do it at home! rich coming from the woman who doesn't have to work but chooses to.

at this point everyone at the restaurant was pointing at mother dearest and whispering to each other behind their hands. hello people we can see you!! and also by this time the restaurant was quickly starting to wreak of nail polish fumes. there were even tacky old ladies with their matching jumpsuits as well with prada handbags that were pointing at mother dearest as they walked by to pay for their dinner.

we couldn't very well make a scene to tell her to put the darned thing back into her handbag as we didn't want to further humiliate ourselves. nor could we pretend she wasn't with us as i frequently do with her in public. we just had to sit and bear it. nail polish fumes. pointing and whispering people.

got home and the old man went and threw out all her stupid nail polish behind her back. way to take control old man! drawing the line right there.